How it works
Three moves through the roast booth.
No account needed to read this. The Free Roast itself needs a free account so your report is saved and re-openable — not a paywall trick, just where your roast lives.
Paste your Steam URL
Drop the page in. No dashboards. No setup maze. The roast reads the live public Steam page — not a screenshot you uploaded, not a form you fill in.
Get the Free Roast
The score, the verdict, the biggest traction leak, the radar breakdown, and the first repair move. Every claim is checked against live public Steam-page evidence.
Fix the first leak
Apply the first repair move yourself, or join the Page Repair Beta waitlist for the full repair pack: rewritten copy, tag analysis, visual priorities, and a recheck.
What the Free Roast finds
What comes back.
Steam Roast Score
A loud number and a real verdict on whether the page earns the click.
Traction Leak
The clearest public-page blocker weakening the first read before players choose to keep reading.
Radar Breakdown
Hook clarity, short description, tags, media presence, and proof gaps mapped from public Steam-page fields.
First Repair Move
The single fix worth doing first, so the next hour on your page is not a guess.
Straight truth
What Anthill is. What it is not.
What it is
A brutally honest first-pass diagnosis of your public Steam page, generated from live page evidence.
What it is not
A wishlist-growth guarantee, a marketing agency, or a paid review farm. Scores are directional.
What it costs
The Free Roast is free. Page Repair Beta is $49 one-time, waitlist-only while checkout is finalized.
What we will never claim
"Your game will explode." No tier guarantees wishlists, sales, press, or launch outcomes.